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Chinese Mandarin - Women in China embrace divorce as stigma eases

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Women in China embrace divorce as stigma eases

www.chinanews.cn 2005-10-08 14:18:38

(Source: NY Times)

GUANGZHOU, China, Sept. 30 - In this lush, affluent region where
infidelity is often tolerated in a marriage. But Cai Shaohong could not
put up with it.
So against the advice of her parents, Ms. Cai, 29, decided in June to
leave her husband. Five years of marriage dissolved after 30 minutes of
paperwork. She celebrated at a teahouse with friends. By August, Ms. Cai
was advising a friend who had also decided to end her marriage with an
unfaithful spouse.
"Several of my friends have gotten divorced," Ms. Cai said this week
during a break at her office, explaining how things are changing here.
"My friends think divorce is normal, not an unthinkable thing."
Divorce was once a dreaded fate for women in China. Now, many younger
urban women like Ms. Cai view it almost as a civil right, which has
helped drive up divorce rates. One government study found that women had
initiated 70 percent of divorce applications here in Guangdong Province,
where the number of divorces increased by 52 percent last year.
For women, and for men as well, changing social mores have brought
changing expectations of marriage. If Chinese couples once recited
ancient vows "to remain loyal to each other even if the seas run dry and
the rocks crumble," as scholars point out, these days bad food or bad sex
is enough to end some marriages.
"In the past, traditional values were the most important thing," said
Yuan Rongqin, a psychotherapist in Guangzhou who treats a growing number
of people for marriage- and divorce-related problems. "Now, individualism
has taken over."
Divorce, then, has become yet another barometer of how Western influences
introduced by two decades of economic change have rippled through Chinese
society. China now has divorce lawyers, divorce counselors, prenuptial
agreements and private detective agencies that photograph cheating
spouses in the act. Several television shows about divorce have become
popular.
"People's idea about the concept of marriage is changing," said Lu Ying,
a lawyer who runs the Women and Gender Study Center at Zhongshan
University in Guangzhou. "Instead of thinking of having just one spouse
for a lifetime, now they are thinking about the quality of a marriage. If
it doesn't work out, then they are quietly ending it."
To a degree, China's rising divorce rate is typical for a developing
country that is rapidly modernizing and becoming more affluent. But the
increase has been sharp since October 2003, when the government
streamlined the process. It also dropped the onerous requirement that
couples needed approval from their employers. A process that once felt
like an inquisition now can take 10 minutes.

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